Realizations at Age 33

Hangovers take more than one day to get over.

Dip is my favorite food group (ex. spinach dip, 7 layer dip, buffalo chicken dip, etc.).

Ice Cream is my second favorite food group.

I’m not sure I ever want to live with a boy.

Casual sex doesn't mean you’re slutty.

Having a clean house makes me happy.

Thanksgiving dinner should happen more than once a year.

I like puppies better than babies.

I hate New Jersey and everything from it.

Small penises scare me.

I don’t think most Adam Sandler movies are funny.

All of my doctors are Jewish.

I have no desire to go SCUBA diving, jump out of a plane, or go to outer space.

A king size bed is necessary.

I hate homework...still.

If teachers would put lessons in the form of a song, I could remember EVERYTHING.

I can no longer drink coffee at night.

I wish I had a bedtime and naps were mandatory.

Crying men make me uncomfortable.

I still find milk completely repulsive.

Katy Perry’s “music” is terrible and anything by Owl City causes me physical pain.

Religion is ridiculous.

I love doing jigsaw puzzles.

I’ll never understand Ebonics...yo.

Vegetarians are annoying.

Vegans are worse.

I love driving fast cars.

I’m not sure I’ll ever be good at public speaking.

My gut feeling is always right.

This might be the funniest thing I've ever seen...